In the past (and unfortunately in the present as well) someone, somewhere wants to know when our society will advance to the point that we have flying cars. The answer of course, is a very hopeful never. Aside from being a terrible waste of fuel and energy, I'm hoping the flying car of the future never leaves the ground, or at least not in my lifetime.

Let me tell you a few things about the last 10 years. The average number of motor vehicle accidents per year in the United States, that resulted in at least one fatality, was about 37,000*. The yearly average of pedestrians killed by motor vehicles per year in the United States is well over 4000*. I never knew walking was so dangerous. There are a lot of negligent drivers on the roads, and apparently on the sidewalks as well.

At night, when I turn off my lights and go to sleep, I feel safe with the knowledge that, although it is ever so slightly possible, no one is going to get behind the wheel of a car and accidently drive into my house. The flying car changes all of that.

I fear the day that any idiot can fly through my neighborhood. What happens when they run out of gas, or the driver passes out while flying home from the a bar? Down they go, into my home, or my neighbor's, or maybe they crash onto the children playing hopscotch on the sidewalk. Won't someone think of the children?

Don't darken the future with a sky full of flying death machines, let the future look bright.

*statistics from http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov/

In the last two weeks, I've sent three emails to AOL regarding emails from a domain that I maintain on a shared host failing to be delivered to email addresses in the AOL.com domain. In my emails I asked if AOL could tell me why the emails where not being delivered and no bounce-back was sent to the sending address.

In response, I received nothing, nada, zilch, zero, zip, null.

People with AOL addresses also asked AOL tech-support why the emails weren't being delivered. The answers received from AOL tech where useless and simply said go to http://postmaster.aol.com/ where honestly, the problem was not addressed.

All AOL needed to say was that the "Return-Path:" in the email header needed to be set to an email address on the originating domain. Because the domain is on a shared host machine, the Return-Path was set to the default sender of the shared-host machine.

So, if you have a site on a shared host, and emails from your site aren't being delivered to people at aol.com, check the Return-Path in your outgoing email headers. If it doesn't contain an email address from your domain, change it.

AOL, I hate you, thanks for nothing.

Have you ever seen what a tornado can do to a building?
It isn't pretty. Look at the image and ask yourself why you only see the foundation of a house? I'll tell you why, because an F5 tornado came through and removed the house and all of the contents of the house. By removed, I mean the tornado ripped the house to shreds and dumped the pieces of house about the countryside. Since you are online right now you might want to see images of tornado damage.

Carry on my wayward son
In the heart of the USA is an area that gets hit by so many tornadoes that the area is called Tornado Alley. In the middle of tornado alley is the State of Kansas, and within Kansas, the Department of Homeland Security wants to build a research facility for the study of highly infectious pathogens . ( according to the Washington Post )

Honestly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that studying pathogens that are lethal to humans, animals, and crops should not be done right smack in the middle of the North American agricultural heartland; especially if the area is prone to having buildings literally ripped from their foundations by 200 mile per hour winds. One unfortunate tornado, and we could be looking at a staggering loss of life as well as a sizable destruction of North America's food source.

Security? Homeland?
I fail to see how putting a ticking time-bomb of destruction in the middle of the US will in any way increase the security of the entire nation? Who the hell honestly thought that this crap was a good idea? Research facilities like this (Plum Island, Gruinard Island) are sequestered from the mainland for a very good reason.

<sarcasm>
Hey! I live in an earthquake prone area, perhaps the DHS should set up a research facility on top of the San Andreas fault line.
</sarcasm>

A few months ago, while practicing bagpipes at my favorite practice spot along the Petaluma River, I pick up someone's discarded aluminum* cans. Damn litter bugs. Normally, I put my aluminum cans in the recycle bin that is provided by the local waste disposal service, but since I was a few miles from home, I though it would be best to simply take the two cans to the closest recycling service.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked away with 10 cents and the the desire to save and redeem my aluminum can. Hey, if I put a 5 cent deposit on a can, I want that money back!

Fast forward to today.....

With bags of cans in hand, I pedaled to the closest can redeemer. A few minutes after arriving, I was pedaling away with almost $7. Hey, one of the pennies was a 1947 wheatback! Lucky me.

On the ride home, I stopped at a traffic light and waited for the signal to change. As I was waiting, a very impatient cellphone talker decided he didn't need to wait for a green light so he crossed the street. Yapping on the phone and looking to his left, he completely failed to look to his right. As cars from the right screeched to a halt and drivers hit their horns, the jaywalker kept talking and looking to his left.

A few hours later, someone who didn't look left or right decided to walk across the street in front me.
Options:

1. weave into the oncoming traffic lane
2. run into the jaywalker
3. weave between the jaywalker and the parked cars by the side of the road

I took the third option and rode between the jaywalker and the parked cars. I was thanked with an expletive by the jaywalker. Sorry Mr Jaywalker, next time you violate the law I'll just run into you; jerk. Is it really that hard to look left and then look right before stepping blindly into the street?

Oh well, no one was hurt and I still have a 1947 wheatback. Actually, it is a 1947 S wheatback.


*you may know it as aluminium

For years, the Motion Picture Association of America has been bitching and moaning about people making fair-use copies of movies. This complaining culminated with the Digital Millenium Copyright Act that made it illegal to circumvent copy protection on DVDs in order to make a legal fair-use copy of a movie. The MPAA also argues that any copying of a movie is illegal.

Now it would appear that NASA some how got a copy of the new Star Trek movie, made an illegal copy of the movie, and then transferred the illegal copy to other computers on their network ( illegal distribution). For some reason, the MPAA hasn't said a peep about this blatant infringement of copyright.

I wonder if the copy of the movie included the "don't steal movies" commercial that I have to sit through when I go to the movies.

NASA are a bunch of movie pirates

Seriously, remove your child's training wheels, they are hindering the process of learning to ride a bicycle. Riding a bicycle consists of a few basic principles:

• pedaling
• steering
• balancing
• stopping

The most important of these principles is balancing and the least important is pedaling and with training wheels on a bike, a child only learns how to pedal ( and a few really bad habits).

It's all about balance. Without balance, a cyclist will fall over and won't have time to pedal, or steer, or stop. Unfortunately, when using training wheels, balance is never learned until after the training wheels are removed. If one learns balance first, everything elses will be a lot easier to learn.

Steering isn't learned when using training wheels? That's right. turning a bicycle left and right, especially at higher speeds, requires a cyclist to lean into turns. Since training wheels prohibit leaning over, a child will not learn how to properly navigate a bicycle.

Stop! The bike was moving and now it is not. What is the first thing a new rider should do? Put their feet on the ground. Because training wheels prohibit a bike from leaning over, one doesn't learn the importance of putting their feet on the ground when a bike is stopped and instead learns the bad habit of keeping their feet on the pedals.

A dandy horse doesn't need training wheels; teach the dandy horse method.

By removing training wheels from a bike, a new rider will need to learn to use their own legs to keep from falling over and at the same time they will learn how to balance on a bike. For propulsion, the child can simply run while seated on a bike. I shouldn't have to say it, but I will for safety sake: avoid hills when teaching a child to ride in this manner.

Happy Riding.

I just received an automated telephone call that informed me that my motor vehicle warranty is going to expire soon and I should press "1" to speak to a representative or I could press "2" to no longer receive call regarding my motor vehicle warranty.

Here are some facts:

• My motor vehicle is 47 years old: any warranty on my vehicle would have expired before I was born.


• My phone number has been in the "National Do Not Call Registry" since the registry was created: the last renewal of my "do not call" registration was almost a year ago.


• Telemarketers are required by law to give the name of the company they are calling for and the phone number they are calling from.

I gave the autodialer the benefit of the doubt and thought I should inform the "representative" that my number is on the Do Not Call List, so I pressed "1". The conversation went like this...

telemarketer: Blah blah blah vehicle warranty division, may I have the make and year of your vehicle?
jezra: No. May I have your telephone number?
telemarketer: one eight hundred go to hell [click - telemarketer hangs up on me]

hmmmm.....
1-800-GOTOHELL is
1-800-468-64355, Hey, that's too may numbers! But I dialed it anyway and was greeted by a recording telling me to check out a diet website.

A quick search on the internet for "vehicle warranty calls" turns up a gaggle of news items and complaints and in almost every article there is a link to the FTC for filing a complaint. So far, the FTC doesn't seem to be doing anything.

Dear FTC and FCC,
The Motor Vehicle Warranty telemarketers are in gross violation of the law. Please fine them out of existence and help fill the Government coffers and reduce the immense debt of the U.S.A.
Sincerely,
Jezra

Please change the Olympics.
There are certain problems with the Olympic games that can easily be fixed by either changing specific rules or by removing events all together. Fortunately, I've compiled a short list of issues that, when remedied, will make the 2012 Olympics slightly more bearable.

• Equestrian Events
  Seriously, get rid of this crap. The Olympics is supposed to be a celebration of the physical feats of humans and in no way does riding a fast horse show the world any specific human prowess. However, if you wanted to add some more events to the olympics that require the same amount of human skill as the equestrian events, I would suggest:
  1. Falconry : hunting with birds is an awesome skill.
  2. Auto Racing: if you can steer a horse, you can steer a car. Vroom Vroom!
  3. Sheep Herding : One animal is for sissies, real athletes control an entire herd.
  
  
• Swimming:
  Dispense with all of the different strokes races. Swimming races should be about going from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time and it should be up to the swimmer to decide which swimming style is the most efficient for them. Let's face it, the butterfly, although quite a physically demanding way to swim, is utterly pointless and inefficient in a distance swim. However, if you would like to add events to the olympics that are as important as the various strokes races, I would suggest:
  
  1. Backwards running: it may be pointless, but it is a physical challenge
  2. Joggling: jogging while juggling, the coolest running event I have seen that isn't an Olympic event
  3. Walking on your Hands: do a handstand, now try to "walk" 50 meters
  
  
• Pole Vault and Highjump:
  Woohooo! Two for the price of one. Require the athletes to land on their feet. If you can't land it, you didn't do it. However, if you don't feel like making athletes land on their feet, might I suggest not requiring a landing in the following events:
  
  1. Gymnastics: hey, a flip is a flip, don't worry about the landing.
  2. Ski Jumping for Distance: if you go the farthest, you win. Landing is for suckers.
  
  Another option, although not quite as good as requiring a landing, is to remove the big soft cushy landing mats that the athletes use. Flop on that, suckers!
  


• Professional Athletes:
  Don't allow athletes to compete in a sporting event if they have ever received a monetary payment for playing that sport. What this really means is that professional basketball players should not be on an Olympic basketball team and professional hockey players should not be on an Olympic hockey team. However, it would be quite alright for a professional tennis player to be on an Olympic ping-pong or badminton team.
  

Well that should do it for now. Stay trashy and keep taking bribes.
Sincerely,
Jezra
PS. Can you please ask London to change their ugly as all hell Olympic logo?