In case you haven't noticed, Blackberry has been having some problems lately; and by "some problems", I mean that the people in charge have sunk the company and jumped ship. Obviously they need to get a decent CEO.... and what better way to apply for the job than to send a postcard!

The Postcard

It went something like this:

Dear BB,
How's it going buddy?
I hear thing aren't that 
great and you are looking for
a new CEO. Fortunately, I
know the perfect person for you.
Me! No kidding, get me on
board and we'll get your shit
shipshape in no time. We'll 
change your image and get hella
devs interested in you. Email me.
                              jezra@jezra.net

For some reason, they never got back to me. Maybe I didn't put enough postage on the card. Oh well... obviously they don't care about fixing their company. ;)

For some unknown reason, every time I write to a company to let them know that I am interested in giving them free product promotion (in my own special way), I am met with nothing but silence. Obviously there is a serious Public Relations problem in the tech world.

Just because technology companies are soulless robots, doesn't mean that I need to be one. So two weeks ago, I grabbed some paper and the pen I found in the gutter and composed a letter to Microsoft.

Dear MicroSoft, 
Hi! Long time, no see. Hopefully you are 
having a pleasant new year. Unfortunately, I had
a fairly nasty cold over the holiday. Oh well, it
was still better than last year when I broke
my collarbone on New Year's Day.

    Recently, I've been reading some jibber-
jabber on the interwebs about developers using
rendering engine specific CSS extensions in their
web apps, and that this code is breaking
on Windows based mobile devices.

 As a developer, I highly disapprove of these
sort of shenanigans and I decided to check my
mobile targeted software to make sure every
thing runs smoothly on Windows mobile 
devices. Then it hit me! I DON'T HAVE 
A WINDOWS DEVICE FOR TESTING!
Sorry for yelling, but it was quite the realization.

Then I though "hey, why not ask Microsoft
for a testing device?"
        
                    Over ----->
                    
So with pen in hand, I am writing to 
you to ask for a development testing device.
In return, I promise to show the device
to my friends ad I also promis to do the following:
    1. test my new code with the device
    2. test my old code with the device
    3. take pictures of the device running my code
    4. blog about the device
    
How rad is that? Between you and I, 
I think it is hella rad!

Thank for your time,
    Jezra
    P.O. Box 933
    Petaluma, CA 94953
    
    
    P.S. If you could draw a 
    coffee cup on packaging, that would
    be hella sweet!

Look at that letter! Letter? That thing is a work of art! The smooth flowing script, the impeccable spelling and grammar. How can they deny such a request?

Sheesh, come on Microsoft, help a Jezra out.

Oh well, maybe next time.

My N810 died

When I went to the MeeGo conference I discovered that my N810 would no longer boot. The device would simply blink the Nokia logo when I tried to turn it on, and all of my attempts to flash a new image to the device failed. So long buddy. [sadface]

How Am I Supposed to Test Software?

Since I need an Maemo device for testing Heybuddy I wrote a postcard to Nokia and requested a new device. Quite surprisingly, I have not yet received a response.

Really? Didn't they see the awesome picture of a coffee cup that drew on the postcard? Maybe they were just waiting until they announced the N9 before they send one my way. Yeaaaaa, that's the ticket!

Fortunately for me (and for !Heybuddy ), there are some kick ass users and testers out there that help me with Maemo problems. However......

Terrible Timing

On June 16th, there was a bug report for heybuddy regarding a security vulnerability due to the use of Python's urllib2 module for HTTPS communication. A nice fix for the problem was found at stackoverflow, and it utilizes the SSL module. However.....

There is No Python SSL Module on Maemo!

One more time, in case you missed it: There is no Python SSL Module on Maemo! Maemo uses Python 2.5 and the 2.5 release did not include an SSL module. Fortunately, there is an SSL module available for Python 2.5 that can be downloaded from http://pypi.python.org/pypi/ssl. Unfortunately, I can't properly test this SSL module with Heybuddy on a Maemo device because my device is broken. Oh, now we've come full circle.....

If you are using Heybuddy, I highly suggest that you update to the latest version, and if you are on an Maemo device, update to the latest Heybuddy release and install the SSL module.

Now quit reading, update your software, and send someone a postcard.

Before I started sending handwritten letters requesting test products from companies, I did things the old-fashioned way: I sent an email request. Just before the end of 2009, I sent an email to http://www.cherrypal.com and I didn't hear until a year later.

Below is the conversation between myself and someone from Cherrypal.
(damn top posting)

Hello Max,   
While I certainly appreciate your Holiday greeting, I found it rather  
perturbing that you would decide to respond to my initial request for a  
review unit a full year after I had made the request. Similarly,  
nothing in your response remotely touches on the subject of my initial  
request. Hopefully this slight oversight will be rectified shortly, and  
I look forward to reviewing one of your products.  

The review unit should be sent to   
Jezra  
P.O. Box 933  
Petaluma, CA 94953  

Stay solid,  
Jezra  



On Tue, 21 Dec 2010 20:06:15 -0800  
Max Seybold  wrote:  

> Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year from all of us  
> here at Cherrypal. Please also read the attachment.  
> http://www.cherrypal.com  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
> On 12/17/2009 2:02 PM, jezra lickter wrote:  
> > Hello,  
> > My name is Jezra Lickter. I am a jack-of-all-trades computer  
> > enthusiast and I am interested in reviewing the Cherrypal Africa;  
> > specifically the Linux version. What I propose, is that I be sent a  
> > unit for review. The unit will be used as much as possible over a 2  
> > week to one month period. After the set time has expired, I will  
> > send the review unit back to you and I will write my review, which  
> > will be posted on my Blog as well as various computer forums that I  
> > am a member of.  
> >  
> > During the review process, I will be taking the Africa with me  
> > where ever I go. This will test battery life, durability, and  
> > usability. Aside from trips to my Linux User's Group meetings,  
> > most of my traveling is by bicycle, and the Africa will be stowed  
> > in my backpack at this time.  
> >  
> > If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact  
> > me.  
> >  
> > Thank you for your time,  
> > Jezra Lickter  
> >      

It has been two months since I wrote back to Max and I haven't yet received a device to review. Obviously something is amiss.

Having checked the user-agent headers of the email that Max sent to me, I discovered that he is using Mozilla Thunderbird ... on Windows Vista.
Well that explains everything!

Never one to be disheartened by the lack of civility of a major corporation (seriously, Google and Dell could have at least written back just to say NO), I decided it was time to put pen to paper and craft a letter of request, which would be sent to a manufacturer of a Linux based product.

After searching the internets for a manufacturer of Linux based devices, I stumbled upon Augen Electronics Corp. Augen makes a tablet, and two netbooks, that run Android.

the letter

Dear Augen, 
Since we haven't been properly introduced I thought
it would be to everyone's advantage if I took the
first step and introduced myself. Howdy, my name
is Jezra and I'm a Taurus, in cusp with
Gemini, and I enjoy playing music, riding bikes
and skateboards, sipping scotch, writing code,
and using Linux.

Since your good buddy Android is Linux based, it
seems as though you and I would get along just fine,
and it is in this capacity that I would like to extend
my hand to you and invite you to hang out with me
and my friends. The idea of a blind date can be
quite scary and I understand your hesitation, but I
implore you to consider my offer.

What I am proposing is this: you visit me in
the form of an Android device (perhaps a genbook or
gentouch), and I will take you with me to
meet all of my buddies. We'll go to my work,
pedal around town and visit friends, listen to
music, maybe hit up a bar or two, and just
have a damn good time getting to know
each other. 

During the time you are with me, I
will write about our adventures together and
when you are ready to be returned, just
let me know and I'll send you home.

Don't be shy, let's make a beautiful future together.

Your's Truly,
Jezra 

Some advice

It has been suggested to me that the reason I never receive a response from my letters is due to me not addressing the letter to the proper person at the various organizations.

Since anyone that sends me some hardware to mess around with is obviously awesome, I made sure that this letter went to the appropriate person; and yet there was no response.

A few options for why they never got back to me might be:

• they are too busy with the holiday season
• they are too busy processing returns (reviews of their devices have not been kind)
• the are too busy beating the crap out of the person that thought using Apple's iWeb to create a corporate website was a good idea.

Regardless of Augen's reason for not responding to me, I am still undeterred and plan on writing more letters in the future.

Rock on and have fun,
Jezra

After the not quite so epic success with my letter to Google, I thought it would be best if I wrote a letter to another company and request that they send me some stuff.

With pen in hand, I set to work crafting the following, which a few weeks ago I sent to Dell.

Hey Dell, what's up buddy? I haven't
really head from you since I bought that
crappy Toshiba and I'm afraid that we
are drifting apart.  I miss you Dell. Oh 
how I long for the feel of your keys 
beneath my fingers; touching, caressing, 
creating beautiful cod together. It's 
not to late to reignite the spark we 
once had. It has come to my attention 
that you have recently been flirting 
with Android (don't worry, I'm not jealous). 
Actually I'm quite interested in Android as 
well. Sure, Android may not be a full 
GNU/Linux stack, but it is so much better 
than that abusive Microsoft. It is actually 
surprising that MS hasn't smacked you 
for even thinking about another OS. Anyway 
this is about you, me and Android. We 
could be so good together. What I am 
proposing is this: If you have the courage 
                          Over -------->

to send me one of your Android devices, 
I will review the unit, write some come for 
the device, and take it with me 
where ever I may roam. Eventually, you 
will want to resume custody of the 
Android device, and when you make the 
request for the device, I will promptly 
return the unit with no questions asked. 
Please Dell, please come back to me. There 
will always be a place for you in my heart.  

Fond thought and well wishes,  
Jezra  

P.S. please offer more products without 
Microsoft. Not everyone likes to give money
to that jerk  

Since the note seemed kind of lovey dovey, I thought it would be best to S.W.A.K the letter. That's "Sealed With A Kiss" in case you didn't know. So after sealing the envelope, I kissed it and wrote "S.W.A.K." on the seal.

For some unknown reason, I received no response from Dell. Obviously Dell and Google are in cahoots and are conspiring against me. Damn you Dell and Google! Oh well, perhaps I'll have better luck next time.

Now quit reading, and go write something.

In hind sight, I should have requested some pens.

A few months ago, I wrote a letter to Google asking them to send me an Android based smart phone. Unfortunately, Google never responded to my letter.

The content of the letter, for those that can't read the chicken-scratch that I call "handwriting" is as follows:

The real question here, is why didn't Google send me a phone (and a few pens)? After quite a bit of thought I have come up with a few possible answers.

1. I mistakenly mentioned the Nexus One phone when I should have been referring to the Motorola Droid
2. The first time I wrote the word "Google", I wrote it with a capital print 'g' and not a capital cursive 'g'
3. Google is so inundated with requests for phones that they haven't had time to send me one yet.
4. The letter was sent via the USPS and probably didn't arrive yet.

Based on the few seconds that I spent thinking about this, I've come to the conclusion that reason #4 is the most likely explanation.

Now quit reading, and go write a letter. I have a few to write myself.